The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
