A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
