After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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