I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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