Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
