So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
