I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
