ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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