So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
