Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
