she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
