stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
