belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just want nice things and good sex
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
