Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
