"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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