Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
