I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
