Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
