adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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