I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
