Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
