1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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