I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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