they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just tell him i said nine months
there's paper in my vomit.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
