she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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