It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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