you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
