11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
