it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Randomize
