Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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