we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My balls are so social today.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
