It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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