Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
