K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
