I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
