I just pynch a tree in the face
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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