would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
