I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yo dont text me then not text me
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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