i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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