He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
