My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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