two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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