Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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