You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
