she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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