Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
