I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
