You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
