all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
