Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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