Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
