I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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